Diary of a Mad Fat Woman

January 18, 2006

Toe Jam! The new weight loss strategy?

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Mad Fat Nikki @ 12:50 am

 So today I’ve got a few comments about diet solutions!

 *  Would you eat the lint out of your belly button?

*  Would you injest fifty hissing Madagascar Cockroaches?

*  Would you listen to “I will always love you” – sung by David Hasselhoff – over and over and over?  Yes, on purpose…


What if the national news came out with an earth shattering bulletin that any of these activities have been denoted as the NEW, FAIL-PROOF WEIGHT LOSS METHOD!?!

I wouldn’t, but that’s just me…unfortunately, there are alot of American women who believe anything when it comes to weight loss.   I’m waiting for Krispy Kreme to come out with a commercial touting the fact that eating their donuts incessantly will cause weight loss from the massive amount of excersize you’d get just by lifting your hand to your mouth to take a bite!  That’s the diet plan that I’d really be into!  

Day 17 of eating healthy and taking back my life:  My husband is on the same path, so his support is meaning the world to me right now.  I can make healthy meals for the entire house, and no one complains!  WONDERFUL!  We’re not on a diet, per se… it’s just a healthy eating lifestyle!  (This is how we choose to categorize it, because of the negative connotations involved with the word “DIET”)  I’m sticking to around 1800 calories a day, and hubby is sticking around 2200.  I can’t say whether we’ve lost weight (we don’t own a scale) but I can say that since cutting out the junk food, soda pop, and double servings, and replacing them with single servings of protein, vegetables, and fruit for each meal, we seem to be in much better spirits than before.  I wake up ready for the world, and go to sleep with a game plan for tomorrow in my thoughts. 


A view of my history:

Filed under: On topic — by Mad Fat Nikki @ 12:46 am

I didn’t quite know where to start, so, as Julia Andrews sings “Let’s start at the very beginning – a very good place to start”

I wasn’t born overweight.  Pfft – go figure.

I come from a long line of skinny tall people – and on my father’s side, they’re repulsed by fat people due to an extreme vanity and closed minds.  Ain’t I the black sheep already?

A normal, skinny child, six years old…and my parents were divorcing.  I started gaining weight in the third grade.  I can remember the kids at my school singing a chant “Nikki-kinicky-fat-and-picky”… and I thought I was a FREAK.  In retrospect, I wasn’t plumply fat or pudgy – I was just thick.  Regardless, the pain was intense because kids are cruel.   My mom assumed that the weight gain was brought on by stress from the divorce, and even though she never thought I was an over-eater, the logical conclusion was that I was finding comfort from foods.

Fast forward to high school.  HUGE inferiority complex.  My girlfriends were able to shop in the Miss departments of Lazarus and Jc Penny, while I had to search in the WOMEN’s department (which was far away from the other girls)  I wasn’t embarrassed, per se, but I did learn early on that there’s a huge difference between what was in style for kids to wear, and what was in style for grown women to wear. 

Fast forward again to 2000.  I was 25 years old and had already been married for two years.  My husband, BEAST, and I had been trying to get pregnant to no avail.  Finally, in 2001 we consulted with my gynecologist who began a series of tests on us.  BEAST was first with the sperm count test…we found out that the 6 million-sperm-march going on in his pants wasn’t the problem, so doc ran a slew of tests on me.

At my next appnt. the doc said that she had figured out what was wrong with me.  HYPOTHYROIDISM…she said that I’d probably had it since I was a child, and it had just gone undetected up until that point.  Through a little help of a medication, we were finally able to conceive successfully.  I had one miscarriage and was terrified throughout pregnancy #2 that the baby would miscarry as well.  HORRIFYING TIMES, lemme tell ya.

But, it’s all good!  MONSTER BOY was born in May of ’02, and since his birth I’ve battled the extreme fluctuations of my thyroid levels – which brings me to where I am today.

Mad about having a thyroid problem and not finding out about it until 4 years ago, and Fat from the practically non-existant metabolic rate within my body, and frustrated because there ain’t a damn thing I can do about it to make it completely disappear!


There!  That’s pretty much the cliff notes.  I just wanted to set the stage for any readers, so that they may be able to better understand my future blatherings! 


January 8, 2006

Where’s the food?

Filed under: On topic — by Mad Fat Nikki @ 4:05 am

I have a question. 

 When you see overweight people, do you automatically think that they just came from the all-you-can-eat lardfest at the local buffet, and they’re currently storming their way to the nearest ice cream stand for a gallon of Rocky Road for dessert?  Stereotypically the majority of us grew up thinking this way.  Even us fat people are capable of looking at someone who’s just a little fatter than we are and thinking to ourselves “dayum, that’s a huge %*#@*!”

Well, folks, I’m here to tell you – it’s not all cookies, pies, and midnight burrito binges at the local taco bell.  Ummm….well….maybe for some, tho – but not this MAD FAT WOMAN! 🙂

 I started this blog with three main intentions:

1.  To share my story of obesity and the causes behind it.  I’m not trying to start a revolution to educate everyone who’s ever made fun of fat people (Lawd, I wouldn’t have the time to do that, even if I were to live FIVE lifetimes!)  – I just want to put my story out there for people to maybe ponder for a few moments.

2.  To help other women (and men) come to terms with their weight problems and realize that no matter what they look like – it does not make you a lesser human being.

3.  To document my successes and struggles as I go through the next chapter in my life while making healthy lifestyle decisions.  A place for me to vent, laugh, and unwind a little bit… all in hopes of not letting myself get too serious about things.


I leave you this post with a quote of wisdom that I heard on T.V. this past week, and have taken it on as my personal motivational creed.





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